IC Inbox

[smithandwesson]

""................This is Sanzo.

Leave a message I guess."

*beep*

Comments

text; un: ROCKET

[beatupgrass]

Dude there is a broad here with your exact name.

[smithandwesson]

........

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

[He appreciates the sentiment but... You're shitting him right? Another Sanzo Priest? Here? Are you sure? Maybe it's just another faker. After all, there are only five of them alive at any given time.]

Where is she?

[Whatever. He's going to solve this problem ASAP.]

[beatupgrass]

It means what it means.

I didn't exactly put a tracker her on her. Should I have?

[smithandwesson]

You see something suspicious as shit and you decide not to put a tracker on it?

Whatever. What did she look like? Did she have long black hair?

[At this point he knew what most of the Sanzos looked like, and there was only one woman.]

[beatupgrass]

MY APOLOGIES, YOUR HIGHNESS. I'll be sure to do that next time.

She was blonde, and uncomfortably cheerful.

[smithandwesson]

All right.

She sounds fake as shit but sure.

Any other major descriptors? I don't want to go around shooting up just any blond bimbo I run into hoping they're the one stealing identities they shouldn't be.

[beatupgrass]

I dunno. She dresses like a fancy hooker. And she's got these huge frickin' sleeves that ain't the least bit practical.

[also I guess she's more brunette than blonde, but whatever. Rocket wasn't paying that much attention.]

action | christmas

[poolhall_killer]

[During the holiday, Sanzo will receive a wrapped box containing a scarf and hat set. There's a note attached:]

I know it's not a holiday you celebrate, but I wish to offer these as part of the season's spirit. - V

[smithandwesson]

......

[A present? Really? How interesting. He really wasn't expecting anything, less so because of his religion and more simply because he knew most people wouldn't bother with him.]

Just because material possession is something not really seen as worth celebrating in one culture does not mean that it should not be cherished when looking into the culture of another. I don't celebrate it myself, but Christmas is still quite the cultural commodity even in China.

[AKA: Thank you Venom. He actually does kind of appreciate this.]

text; un: ROCKET

[beatupgrass]

Question.

Do you do weddings?

[What you don't see: Rocket laughing his ass off, because he keeps trying to imagine this.]

[smithandwesson]

[Fuck you Rocket. Just... Fuck you.]

Usually, considering my rank such ceremonies are below me. But if needed... Yes.

I know how to.

[Why is this a conversation we're having right now?]

[beatupgrass]

Awesome. Promptly's lookin' for a priest to officiate at his wedding and I told him you'd do it.

[smithandwesson]

... Who the fuck is Promptly?

[What a dumb name. But he'd believe it from Rocket.]

[beatupgrass]

Prompto. Whatever. White-haired kid.

[smithandwesson]

And I still have no idea who you're talking about.

Some kids getting married and I'm the only one you know that knows how to provide matrimonial service? Is that it?

text | un: BishopRunout

[poolhall_killer]

He insisted that I pet him with it.

Re: text | un: BishopRunout

[smithandwesson]

What. Does it actually talk to you or something?

[He'd believe it with how this world works sometimes.]

I really hope that's not your actual toothbrush.

[poolhall_killer]

No, he doesn't talk. I didn't know what to use to brush him so I tried a toothbrush.

And no, it isn't. It's a clean one.

[smithandwesson]

Well that's relieving to know at least.

Though really, an actual monkey? You know those things are a pain in the ass to take care of right?

[He knows through personal experience.]

[poolhall_killer]

So I've read, but I'm going to do my best to care for him.

He just hatched one day, so I wasn't planning on buying or adopting a monkey anytime soon.

[smithandwesson]

[From anyone else the immediate question would probably be 'how did a monkey hatch?' But Sanzo's going to casually look it over.

He's seen stranger things happen.

Also, his own monkey hatched from a rock supposedly.]

And so you decided to just keep it?

Why not just offer it up to a conservatory or research facility until it's old enough to be let back out into the wild?

[milesedgelord]

Don't be ridiculous! I don't think I've lost that much muscle definition.

Hold it...



How is that for substantiating my claims?

[smithandwesson]

[Why is this happening?]


....... Why are you showing this to me?

I did not need to see this today.

[HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU GOOD SIR!]

[milesedgelord]

What do you mean why am I showing this? You said that I'm too weak to traverse to Wyver. I was refuting your statement with evidence.

[smithandwesson]

[.........]

I'm pretty certain this picture you sent was meant for someone else.