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[smithandwesson]

""................This is Sanzo.

Leave a message I guess."

*beep*

Comments

Re: text | un: BishopRunout

[smithandwesson]

What. Does it actually talk to you or something?

[He'd believe it with how this world works sometimes.]

I really hope that's not your actual toothbrush.

[poolhall_killer]

No, he doesn't talk. I didn't know what to use to brush him so I tried a toothbrush.

And no, it isn't. It's a clean one.

[smithandwesson]

Well that's relieving to know at least.

Though really, an actual monkey? You know those things are a pain in the ass to take care of right?

[He knows through personal experience.]

[poolhall_killer]

So I've read, but I'm going to do my best to care for him.

He just hatched one day, so I wasn't planning on buying or adopting a monkey anytime soon.

[smithandwesson]

[From anyone else the immediate question would probably be 'how did a monkey hatch?' But Sanzo's going to casually look it over.

He's seen stranger things happen.

Also, his own monkey hatched from a rock supposedly.]

And so you decided to just keep it?

Why not just offer it up to a conservatory or research facility until it's old enough to be let back out into the wild?

[poolhall_killer]

I didn't feel right to just turn him over to some kind of facility. Who knows what they would have done to him.

And he doesn't seem like he wants to go back to the wild. If anything, he seems happy to be in our home.

[smithandwesson]

You could keep in touch with the facility to make sure they are treating the thing well. Sounds to me like you're just making up excuses for the fact that you just genuinely like having him around.

[poolhall_killer]

And if I do like having him around? He's a very sweet monkey. I don't think I could give him up to a facility if it was a choice.

[Attachment]

[Have another photo, Sanzo]

[smithandwesson]

No judgment. The company you decide to keep is always entirely up to you. Just hope you're prepared for the trouble one of those little critters give ya.

They've got quite the appetite for such little things.

[Ah man. It's so small and round. Looks like a little toasted bun. Why does it give him a strangely nostalgic feeling?

He hates it.]

[poolhall_killer]

He hasn't done anything major except sitting in the fruit bowl. When I tell him to get out he does, but he won't listen to anyone else.

And appetite-wise, he loves fruit and sometimes tree sap when I take him outdoors for a few minutes.

[smithandwesson]

Yeah I'd watch that sort of behavior a little more closely if I were you. He could be trying to mark that fruit as his.

The last thing you want to do is take a bite out of an apple only to realize your dear pet was rubbing his ass all over it.

[poolhall_killer]

[...Ew. That's gross, man.]

I'll be sure to wash my fruit properly before eating it, then. He'll have his fruit and we'll have ours.

[smithandwesson]

[Hey.

Literal shit like that is what monkeys are infamous for.

He's just passing the warning along.]

Just make sure you have a properly secured diaper on the thing at all times. Little rascals like him were a common sight where I was from and they were infamous mischief makers.

[poolhall_killer]

I don't even know if diapers are available in his size. He's so small.

[Is he expected to make some diapers so Pepper can freely rub his butt on the fruit?]

[smithandwesson]

If you can't find any you can always make them. Would be a much better solution than it shitting all over your house at least.

You know how to make 'em?

[Yes.

Yes you do Venom.

Be a responsible pet owner.]

[poolhall_killer]

But he hasn't done such a thing. I tell him to use the plants and he's never strayed from using them. I doubt a diaper would be comfortable for him.

[In other words, he doesn't know how to make monkey diapers, much less marmoset-sized diapers.]

[smithandwesson]

Wait... So he just understands you when you talk to him? No training needed?

[How weird! Is he some sort of super monkey?]

[poolhall_killer]

Apparently so. I told him it was okay to play with my roommate and he went right up to him. He even sat in my friend's palm.

[smithandwesson]

.... That's weird.

[Yeah that... that's not common for monkeys at all.]

Did he have previous human owners that pre-trained him already?

[poolhall_killer]

No. He hatched out of an egg. That sounds odd since I know monkeys don't hatch, but he acts like he's been pre-trained.

[smithandwesson]

[.......... You would think he would be more used to hearing about monkeys hatching from eggs at this point of his life


... Of course he did. Why wouldn't I already expect that from this strange alien world? Really that's on me more than anything.

Any other strange magical things your space-monkey is capable of that normal monkeys can't do?

[poolhall_killer]

Nothing out of the ordinary. He eats what he's supposed to, likes to play, and does what any other monkey does.

[smithandwesson]

... But he came from an egg.

[Yeah. He's still wrapping his mind around this. Please give him a second.]

[poolhall_killer]

Yes. He came from an egg.

[Venom had trouble believing it, too. But the evidence of Pepper's sudden appearance and broken eggshell is all that he needed.]

[smithandwesson]

... I wonder if that's just normal here. Perhaps a bunch of mammals lay eggs.

And maybe there are just some animals that are capable of understanding the native tongue.

[It still felt surreal to just accept though.]