IC Inbox

[smithandwesson]

""................This is Sanzo.

Leave a message I guess."

*beep*

Comments

text; un: ROCKET

[beatupgrass]

Dude there is a broad here with your exact name.

[smithandwesson]

........

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

[He appreciates the sentiment but... You're shitting him right? Another Sanzo Priest? Here? Are you sure? Maybe it's just another faker. After all, there are only five of them alive at any given time.]

Where is she?

[Whatever. He's going to solve this problem ASAP.]

[beatupgrass]

It means what it means.

I didn't exactly put a tracker her on her. Should I have?

[smithandwesson]

You see something suspicious as shit and you decide not to put a tracker on it?

Whatever. What did she look like? Did she have long black hair?

[At this point he knew what most of the Sanzos looked like, and there was only one woman.]

[beatupgrass]

MY APOLOGIES, YOUR HIGHNESS. I'll be sure to do that next time.

She was blonde, and uncomfortably cheerful.

[smithandwesson]

All right.

She sounds fake as shit but sure.

Any other major descriptors? I don't want to go around shooting up just any blond bimbo I run into hoping they're the one stealing identities they shouldn't be.

[beatupgrass]

I dunno. She dresses like a fancy hooker. And she's got these huge frickin' sleeves that ain't the least bit practical.

[also I guess she's more brunette than blonde, but whatever. Rocket wasn't paying that much attention.]

[smithandwesson]

[... Fancy sleeves huh?]

Did she have this ridiculously ornate crown on her head? And was she ditzy and bubbly as fuck? Kind of obnoxiously flirtatious and showed more skin than any real fucking priest would dare to?

[beatupgrass]

Yeah! Yeah, that was her!

[smithandwesson]

Right.

I've met her but didn't think she was worth hanging around long enough for a fucking introduction. Wouldn't be the first person I met trying to scam people with the title though.

If you see her before I do flag me down immediately.

[beatupgrass]

Yeah, I'll just immediately drop you a text saying "Hey, Sanzo, your hooker impostor is here again."

I think she really thinks she could beat you up.

[smithandwesson]

Perfect.

And I'd like to see her try. I'm not the type to hold back on a woman so she better be ready if she actually wants to bring fists into this.

[beatupgrass]

Oh I'm gettin' snacks and watching this shit go down.

[smithandwesson]

... Why do I feel like you're getting some sick sense of amusement from the thought of me smacking this girl around? What kind of sicko are you?

[beatupgrass]

Oh no, dude. I'm getting a sick sense of amusement from imagining the broad smacking you around.

[smithandwesson]

Wow, way to encourage me to try and beat up girls all the more. You’re a fucking sadist you know that?

So what, she like the rest of the losers in this world with overpowered super abilities?

[beatupgrass]

I've been told that.

I dunno, but probably. There's a lot of 'em. I'm still pissed about that bastard who can screw with gravity.

[smithandwesson]

Fucking Hell. Of course there's some asshole out there that can screw with gravity.

[Maybe he's the one who fucked things up back during that time in the mess hall? Definitely suspect number one in Sanzo's eyes.]

Fate really likes to fuck with those of us who ain't got nothing but the guns on our hips. If anything I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky that we even have those.

[Now if only he could get his scripture back.]

action | christmas

[poolhall_killer]

[During the holiday, Sanzo will receive a wrapped box containing a scarf and hat set. There's a note attached:]

I know it's not a holiday you celebrate, but I wish to offer these as part of the season's spirit. - V

[smithandwesson]

......

[A present? Really? How interesting. He really wasn't expecting anything, less so because of his religion and more simply because he knew most people wouldn't bother with him.]

Just because material possession is something not really seen as worth celebrating in one culture does not mean that it should not be cherished when looking into the culture of another. I don't celebrate it myself, but Christmas is still quite the cultural commodity even in China.

[AKA: Thank you Venom. He actually does kind of appreciate this.]

text; un: ROCKET

[beatupgrass]

Question.

Do you do weddings?

[What you don't see: Rocket laughing his ass off, because he keeps trying to imagine this.]

[smithandwesson]

[Fuck you Rocket. Just... Fuck you.]

Usually, considering my rank such ceremonies are below me. But if needed... Yes.

I know how to.

[Why is this a conversation we're having right now?]

[beatupgrass]

Awesome. Promptly's lookin' for a priest to officiate at his wedding and I told him you'd do it.

[smithandwesson]

... Who the fuck is Promptly?

[What a dumb name. But he'd believe it from Rocket.]

[beatupgrass]

Prompto. Whatever. White-haired kid.